insanity

I am afraid that I might have scared someone with a trait of mine which could have tagged me as insane, and I believe that this person might think that because the unusual is not common in her life, or rare.

the problem which can be raised is that people say that the insane cannot accept that they are insane, and I know that I am among the sanest people out there.. which by the standards makes me insane because I do not want to accept it.. it is also a strange paradox..

I like to believe that there is no such thing as insanity. there are merely multiple way of seeing things. there is however a “clinical” insanity which was brought forward mostly by psychologists. but I believe that this is based mostly on the comparison between the “patient” ’s behaviour and the unspoken social and moral rules, different codes of conduct and some standard right-wrong ways of seeing things established by professionals.

I see that most people reject insanity in their lives, they do not want to be surrounded by people who are “out of the ordinary” (in the “bad” way..)

I would love to see the world through different eyes, experience different feelings.. life is more beautiful than a squirrel taking the fame in a photograph or a flower blooming..
(but still, a woman remains the most beautiful thing life can offer!)

Fear

will become very popular in this world very soon..
With the slow disintegration of privacy and with the constant evolution of robots, organized religion and with the help of immoral leaders and companies, the consumer society will only become a tool in the hands of the corrupt.

Action must be taken.

Dr.

Ivanovici (still wondering how the name is written) was a good friend of mine. He passed away some time ago. To my shame, I cannot remember when, but in his memory I will make this short post.

I present my respects for an outstanding person, smart, with a great sense of humour and a very important life accomplishment. (of course I cannot forget his adorable wife!)

music

I must talk about it a bit.. on my way home I realized something.. we should stop listening every day to the songs we love. after a while it gets boring. What would you rather say: “Ah, I know this song.” or “Oh yes, I love this song!”

the difference between these two phrases is the amount of time separating the different listens of the loved song. The longer the time, the better the feeling you get when you listen to the song(s).

Try to discover new genres of music with your daily playlists.. there are more genres than you can imagine..

“We suddenly become inspired by something we did not find through logic”

a discovery triggers the best emotions and ideas when logic has nothing to do with it. you know you made such a discovery when the only words passing through your mind are “Heh, imagine that!”

well, yes. that is the problem. we must not use logic as the only support in life. imagination has tremendous power.

if we all analyse the smallest of events we find to be awkward, rare or beautiful we would find something some of us do not feel very comfortable with, the theory of chaos. but we shouldn’t eliminate its usefulness only because it has no pure logical foundation, it is in a way just random. of course, coincidence has a lot to do with it as well.
(for the sake of fiction, lets still believe that the apple really fell on Newton’s head) what if Newton was just a few inches to the right or left? he would’ve seen the apple, taken it form the ground, washed it and maybe eaten it.. that would seem normal.. it seems however illogical to think about gravity after an apple hits you on the head (this is just the art most scientists like to share with the world.. science isn’t only about math and experiments..)

apparently I lost my train of thought.. but seeing how the quote influences me, I am pretty sure i will not forget to update this post

time has a tendency of making a fool out of me

I shall keep this post here as a reminder that sometimes it pays to listen to people more experienced than yourself, rather than try to gain more experience than them, but then you realize that it is futile, as time makes you both gain experience at the same rate.. (I hope you understand this.. I’m working on another idea as I am writing this.. so multitasking can damage expression)

pour

a part of your soul in a glass. offer it as a drink to the one you love. then watch her every reaction. see if she is grabbing only the glass or touching your hand as well. if she is shaking or steady as a rock. if she is having second thoughts about drinking it or not. most importantly if she is actually looking at the contents in a pondering way, which could mean that she doesn’t know your soul well enough to risk her life only to show you her possible love..

if she hesitates, grab the glass from her hand and drink it yourself, or else it remains exposed. this could mean that she needs to discover you some more. if she is drinking it fast, then you know she does not care about you, all she wants is to use you, thus thinking that if she drinks it, you will feel better. if she starts crying really hard and starts violently shaking, leave. if she is crying and smiling with the smile you fell in love with, do not hold back your tears, they are tears of love from the both of you.
only when her eyes will shine with the same colour of your soul, if she is slightly trembling and only one tear will go down her cheek as she is drinking what is in the glass, shall you kiss that tear, her, and never go apart, as you both have just discovered that you are soul mates.

it

is time for another post.. I felt it when I managed to watch 23:00:00 on my watch and 23:23:00 as well..
it has been a very long time since this sort of coincidences happened. it usually is a sign. and there are multiple possibilities, either things will go very well (in usual day to day activities), deep sentimental experiences will take place, or I will fall into another prolific inspirational streak regarding my (un)usual ideas.

I cannot choose this.

but what I can do is express some recent feelings.
summer is almost over. university is waiting. friends come and go. the next step is getting closer and closer.
recently my touch with the sentimental side of life has presented itself to be very thin. that is very bad for me and for the people I know, because I am the most sensitive person I ever got the chance to meet. this world cannot support the loss of another sentimental being, I will not allow it! what I need is to be surrounded by passion. either excellent paintings, good music, rational and highly stimulating conversations, sharing feelings or any other concept which requires passion.

I can hardly force myself to write this, but I must if I want the negative feelings to be gone. I miss the times when a single speck of dust could make me imagine an entire story behind it, when the waves made by a woman’s hair would make my heart burst into a higher gear..

there could be one thing, though.. maybe I ran out of energy. maybe I spread so much passion until now, that I don’t have any left, so I must recharge. I need you to stimulate me, I am asking for help. I do not want to become what I always feared.

or I have an unresolved issue I have to take care of which kept me nervous for a long time.. yes, that is it. I know what it is, but it is not up to me to resolve it, I alone cannot make a difference.

Yes! I see it clearly now. growing is a scary process, some grow faster than others from all points of view. this next step I (together with hundreds of millions of people in the world) will make soon requires me to find a certain stability. this will grant me total independence. and that is the key word in making this situation right. this and a steady amount of passion

when I say “a long time”, in this post only, I refer to a period of over 2 months. another reason to this problem could simply be biorhythm. mine could be just wrong at this time, thus my troubled mood.

but still, her sparkling blue eyes and smile managed to give me wings again and show me what I am able to imagine and feel.. I have to, no, I will give some back! I shall spread this feeling with everyone I get to talk to. I will cherish this opportunity and manage to make the best of it! I will only let myself down by not doing it, and indirectly I let everyone down if such is to happen.

please do not read this again, it will only make your head hurt some more..

something else

Two are walking down a dark street. Cars are sleeping, trash is feeling unwanted and isolated on the streets, lonely posters are crying because there is nobody to look at them, a sick pigeon is barely surviving at the edge of the street. ants are still far away from corruption. the concrete they walk on is at the beginning of its 1000 year old journey. the dirt in the air says “Hi!”. a lonely old shoe is happy that nobody will be abusing him anymore. Light posts are doing their best to spread some light over the situation. the water in the sewage system still didn’t find any way to slow down. Some people are fornicating very loudly a couple floors above, but nobody suspects a rape.. she likes it. the lockets keeping the stores closed would give anything to make their life stories to be published. an old belt has a dilemma. two newspapers are having a fight. the tears from the girl listening to her parents fight just finished a long differential about the Leidenfrost effect and cohesion. a snail is doing some refurnishing. cockroaches are having a rave party. mice are praying to god for the extinction of cats. my cat is metro-sexual. a knife just sighed after seeing himself in another person’s abdomen for the 3rd time that week. air molecules are getting a headache from all that non-music people call electro (their charges vary too much!). an old knob wants to find his brothers and sister in the trash valley. oil is starting a “fuck humans” campaign. money is close to finding a way to eliminate the need of economy, but they need the help of common sense, which too many people lack. religion wants to disappear with the help of reason, but humans still need some more digits of IQ. I need a girlfriend fast!

But they can’t hear these things.

I

am being lifted from the ground. Vibrations in the air are making it so that I am starting to take off. slowly, at the pace of a starfish, I, together with everyone else, start to lose the feeling of weight. While the bass is still stirring our flesh, we are its prisoners. No mortal has the power to get away from its grip. The mesmerizing rhythm makes even the most profound idiot find enlightenment, the blind turn into gurus of sound as they can only hear and speak, DJs freeze after they mix it, those 5 minutes turn into 5 hours. As we all float, we can see the spasmodic air briefly going in and out of existence as they leave a sublime trace of arcane light. All our bodies tune in at the same frequencies, becoming one with the supreme power that is passion. All the nerves get excited at the same time.. Love

a brief description of Dop – Vsop