twinkle

in her eyes, sparkle in her smile, love tremor in her hands.. time passes, she thinks, but she does not feel it.. discrete biting of the lips, subconscious playfulness with her hair, chronic true smiles, full-body laughs, goose-bumps every time, perfect sync with his body, not skipping any beat, they start talking another language which nobody but them can understand.. passion..
slow clenching of their hands together, harder and harder, bodies touching creating lightning.. hands tickling the hair – she exhales strongly.. he aims for lips, but he cannot handle the feeling yet.. rhythm advances, close to end, sweat smells like red roses..
music is louder and louder, climax approaching, he grabs her waist, swings her around and pulls her back, his face welcomes her hair

and freeze-frame – I love making up scenarios for photos

some

people love to stay in the rain because it hides the tears on their faces.. and for good reason.. we don’t like to open up too much when it comes to sadness.. well, only attention-desiring people do that, because their social images thrive on attention, so one of the ways to get it is to touch other people through sadness (does “drama queen” ring a bell?)

some of you might know one of Barney Stinson’s lines: “When I get sad, I stop being sad, and be awesome instead.”
the beauty in it? well, it’s the reason why some people love the rain..
what if we stop doing that?
I challenge every sad person out there to go the closest stranger you have (stranger, because friends are somewhat “obliged” to listen to you, thus the impact of sharing a story with someone is stronger if you don’t know that person.. plus there is a bit of a thrill to it..) and share what ails you.. let it be the most random or simple of problems.. we must learn to share.. we must become everyone’s friend..

once I saw a woman on a bench.. she seemed sad and in deep thought.. I really wanted to listen to her story and be there for her, even if I didn’t know her at all.. but I was too scared of rejection, because this society is not used to such openness..
maybe I’ll get a custom t-shirt with “Talk to me” on it.. possibly it will help..

what do

you think?

are we just another “test tube” of an intelligent being playing with life? could it be that we were created by some supreme physical beings who just want to test the purity of their research?
well, if it is so, then they failed and need to start again..

I’ve

done a recent analysis of the evolution of my posts.. apparently it reflects my personal evolution in every way..
I am stunned.. and sad, because I have lost my initial state of mind, that which kept my mind running and running like a mad man being chased by a ghost.. now, it is full of rubbish..

I do not like this evolution.. I realize I am loosing the most important part of me.. slowly, but surely my reflective pattern starts to get a more social dimension.. my associations become dull, I am in a state of decay..
and this is happening only because I have too many things to do now.. the time I give to my thoughts has decreased, and all I can do is watch them get wasted on simple imaginative possibilities within my studies.. and that cannot be tagged as interesting by everyone, thus my reluctance to post my thoughts right now.. so I guess I actually am losing something..

and apparently most of my oral vocabulary in English has been reduced to Hank Moody’s legendary phrase..

Had

the time to think recently.. ‘ve been wanting to go visual, to start making videos with my thoughts instead of writing, because I think that it’s faster (it is, plus I have random thoughts everywhere, and most of the time I’m away from any means of taking notes.. but I carry a small video recorder)..

but one thought went to another and now I want to clear some things up.. you already know what I am going to write, I’m just “showing” it to you..

first I visited youtube and went through random videos to see how people share their lives.. but they actually don’t.. they just share some information about their lives that they believe people will find interesting, funny, maybe stimulate some feeling.. but mostly it’s about the entertainment..

entertainment (and profit for the site owners) is the key in all the video sharing sites.. well, at least in those sites where moderators are available, because the content is controlled..
even the stimulation of the masses: think the guy who wrote “love” (or something similar) on his hand and everyone in the (youtube) world, did the same.. well, this dominoes effect was just an intrinsic stimulus of the feeling of togetherness.. but did it really bring people together? no. all it did was show that people know how to love.. they did not use that ability.. plus, youtube enjoyed the word-of-mouth..
I respect metacafe, dailymotion and other sites especially designed for entertainment, but entertainment wasn’t the initial youtube plan (I mean it doesn’t seem it was).. now Google has its fangs in it.. fair? incredibly not..

if there is a serious ideas-sharing site, please share it with me!
because I want to share my ideas with more people, and maybe perfect them.. it’s boring thinking alone..

people want to be entertained.. they need it.. but they don’t understand that it’s just an illusion.. entertainment has 2 uses: source of income for those who can’t do anything else; and a way for the corrupt to manipulate us..

I can’t think upon anything other than the wrong in which we all live.. and for now I can’t do anything to change it.. because the stupid outweighs the smart (to put it mildly)

and I am actually upset with myself for not being able to think about any other things..
sometimes even I can’t stand myself..

Life

starts as a circular function at first.. after we were born all we did was eat, sleep, poop… in a never ending cycle..

but growing starts adding variables.. from learning speech to controlling body functions, those are variables which get included in the function as their role gets clearer and clearer in the function (like discovering hidden talents or learning what we like).. without a proper role the variable either gets rejected or totally changes the function if integration is forced (take violent and imposing parents as an example, they force their children into doing different things which change the natural evolution of the function or disturb it and the function starts behaving chaotically)..

This function is different for every person. By adulthood the function has enough variables and behavioural patterns that the result of every interaction in that person’s life can be deduced just by replacing the values. of course, not numerical, but something else..

start

you brains!

yesterday I passed through the roughest physical test I ever had to experience: a university initiation.
yes, too much alcohol and a lot of fun.

but I don’t think that the point of such an event is only to have fun. a beginning in a university is a big step. one which opens exponentially more doors than previous education which only founded this step.
university requires a lot of work. that is the thought we all have when we start.

universities want to encourage us with this process, sending a message: “We are not bad, we know how to have fun. Through this we want to show you what you are able to do. You must be able to attain the level of energy you get under the influence of ethanol without it. Through this step you will discover a side of you which you would never reveal to anyone. There are no more social codes to respect. We do not wear masks! Release yourself from all the chains the exterior society put you in! Do not be afraid to show what you are made of! Everyone else must feel your energy only by looking at them! You are strong! Let us help you reveal that strength in you! Let us make you warriors of life and knowledge! Surpass your limits! Push them further and further! Discover what life is really about by putting that energy in this place where you will feel like home. Learn to love and be loved! Don’t regret anything! Never give up! ..and you will become more powerful than you ever imagined!”

Or I could be wrong, but I really don’t want to find that out..

closure

recently it seems that I received a sort of boost in the creative part of my soul.. my will of keeping it as long as possible created at some point a bond between me and that energy.. I can feel it leaving, but I can also feel the cohesion between my soul and it.

this thing we experience every day, life, is not as well defined as we see it. it doesn’t just end in every person’s daily routine or new experiences.. that is only the surface.. life is everywhere, from inside our own bodies to millions of light years away, and there is a connection between every soul.
our society is in a state of evolution which is not suitable for some people (myself included, I think). the early mentalities regarding gods and myths started to limit our connection with other life. we stopped thinking about other possibilities; these stories and gods were accepted as answers to some early fundamental questions regarding spiritual connections.. these are wrong.

open up!

good

news.. I guess..

it took over 1 week to come out of the catharsis she put me in.. I need some more!

again on insanity

this is a very interesting story!