As I

search Adam Protoplast’s Without You track I realize, again, how ignorant the masses are.
I have been ranting on about them and by not finding that song on youtube a line has been crossed.

Officially I just found out that most of the internet people have absolutely no personal worth. Love made me realize this. Which could either mean there are no feelings in the internet or people really don’t know what life is.
If I were to count the people actually helping humans evolve all of them could fill up Luxembourg. The rest are just waste. I’m not proposing mass murder, but people should be forced to learn the thing they like doing the most from a list of professions or jobs actually helping the human evolution. It is the scientifically right thing to do.

On a more personal note, I must propose the rapid and total destruction of golf and every other game played only for the fame, money, class and luxury.

Luxury nowadays is the social classifier. Do you even know that most of the people actually “manufacturing” luxury are poor? Plus I was so glad when I found out that that old fashion designer died.

Everything not dedicated to a higher purpose of life should be made obsolete. Feelings and their evolution and study, science, solidarity, love.. these are the things people should be worried about. Not banks, parties, sex, diseases etc.
Art should be seen as the fuel for feelings.
I am so angry as I am writing this, that I almost feel able to go out, buy a katana and a state-of-the art armour (so that I won’t be stopped) and kill everyone not worth living. Life is a privilege, not a gift. Think of all the possible geniuses actually not being born due to the mindless sex tens of thousands of people are having right now.

Sorry for being so angry. I really need someone to help me be more comfortable in this world.
[where the hell are the aliens?]

people

think that mostly words can be used well enough to criticize a movie or event, but what can better put the effect of a movie on us is the facial expression of the viewers right as the movie ends.

I swear, as soon as I get a camera, after each event I’ll see, I shall take a photo of my face and name the photo after the movie or event or whatever..

I actually feel sick that so few people use their imagination to make this world better and more beautiful..

feelings

have their specific place in the universe.. this is another idea I came up with.. just a pathetic attempt to explain a situation, but at least I hope it’s nothing you ever heard of..

let’s start by accepting that there are vibrations everywhere in the universe.. even what we call void has incredibly small particles in it which vibrate.. being a bit influenced by the vulgarized string theory, I came up with an explanation for love at first sight and all sentimental anomalies taking place in the world.. let’s say that you will read “Cupid’s equation”, without any literal mathematics involved, only pure speculation and a lot of imagination.

let’s accept the fact that souls interact with each other.. family members know that they share some sort of connection wherever they are in the world.. and some lone people know that that special someone is somewhere out there.. we must also accept the fact that most of spiritual communication is done through the eyes, otherwise the wouldn’t be love at first sight..

(now it’ll possibly sound a bit cliche as I use the notion a lot in here)
Imagine another dimension where all the vibrations of all the souls of every living thing interact, and this interaction can be seen as the interference of the souls’ vibration frequency. here different frequencies represent different personalities, so no physical appearance is involved, thus physical attraction is out of the question.
these result of the interaction can dictate the outcome of a relationship of those 2 souls just like basic wave interaction, but at a spiritual level..

let’s imagine 2 subjects, A with a frequency x and B with a frequency 2x. the resultant will be a harmonious relationship, with quarrels here and there, thanks to the phase difference they will undergo. closer the frequencies, better the relationship, but with perfection comes boredom. anyway, that’s another problem..
these two subjects, never seeing each other before, fall in love at first sight because through their eyes (the windows of the soul) they can rapidly “see” the result of their interacting frequencies.. how fast they see the result depends on how different their frequencies are. in this case B’s frequency is twice the one of A. so we could make a relation tying the frequency difference, like Yb=nYa (Y is frequency) n is a positive integer, in this case 2. if n tends to take other values such as 3,14 then the harmony changes and the relationship tends to be a bust, so n should preferably be the smallest possible integer to make the relationship work, but that can not be modified. nature defines the differences.
and as you might (or not) have noticed I did not include animals, because humans have a conscience which filters the resultant wave, thus making animal love a whole different level of interaction.

this dimension or field being everywhere has different densities depending on nothing but chance, like a Brownian movement, but for waves. this could explain why I can’t seem to make any good interaction with girls here.. my connexions haven’t been broken back home. I still love there. so the field’s density in the northern america seems to be low for now.. things can change. but this is universal, if someone were to make statistics studying the number of people falling in love in the world (disregarding any area under water) the notion of randomness would appear, meaning clusters and empty areas of coupling on the surface of the earth..
I hope you did not neglect the fact that the relations being created in the field, if strong, they will survive the field’s movement. the “wavian” movement (=brownian movement for waves in a shorter version) will twist and turn the resultants in every way possible.. this tests the relationship’s strength.. however the movement might tend to stretch the resultant so much, that for some time it make is disappear, but not destroying the relationship. the members might feel it’s absence, but they will not end. after a while the field finds the balance it seeks and remakes the resultant, giving the partners’ a “fresh start” feeling.

this is highly complicated as I start to dig deeper into it, I’ve been thinking at the Pitt-Jolie couple and wonder if their resultant was spontaneous, or if the media had some undesired effect on the resultant, forcing it to happen, but not in a harmonious way. this involves other parameters still speculative (as all of this is ) and harder to find a reasonable explanation to.

the frequency interaction could explain the weird and normally unexplainable couples. I can only find stereotypes, like a young man falling in love with an old lady, or a nice, fit woman falling in love with a fat, couch potato loser.

in the end it all falls on the shoulders of the old and trusty waves.. maybe more to come if I can find some other parameters..

A true warrior

will put all his will of destruction in every strike with his weapon, while a coward uses a gun to show an illusory sense of superiority.
I hate letting people down. My sword has missed many times in this case and I still refuse to use a gun.

happy there’s music to soothe..

why is it that a man in a shirt with no personal essence is seen better than a man in a t-shirt? you all know the answer to that.. it’s in your social formation as a human.. and sadly it’s not based on the right values..
I would like to live long enough to see people acting normal when someone will be wandering naked everywhere..
or better yet, I would like to be that man..

I must learn to give up on giving up.. but it’s not my fault I get bored very fast..

I am my own prisoner. fortunately I manage to escape sometimes, but my subconsciousness manages to put together a smart trap and I find myself in my cell very fast.. and lately those traps are smarter and smarter.. so I must become better.. soon it will happen.. I can feel it.. food is god in this prison, though.. I manage to support myself.. it’s diverse, but not nurturing enough.. so I find myself weak sometimes..
but that’s enough about me.. how about you?
you know I love you, right? apparently I love everyone for dropping by.. I know I manage to make you think about other things than immediate meaningless problems, like what to wear or some Hollywood couple’s break-up..
now, I beg you, use the tools all mighty google gives you, and search house music (Hed Kandi, MAW, Defected, Funknutt etc.) and discover things yourselves.

how hard is it to see the colours in the sounds surrounding us? just associate them with the feelings they stir in you.. -so then, what colour is the sound made by a man hitting the ground at 160 km/h ? -fuck you.
-or the colour of tears dropping on pillows? or how about the buzzing of the flies in the poor african children’s eyes? fat, corrupt politicians laughing? or the sound of failure? -what? -you know, when your heart brakes.. -your heart brakes if you fail at not giving up.. have you heard that yet? -I’m asking the questions here.
-are you? who are you anyway? -your sentimental wind rose..

New

event idea!

Stickman!

every event shall have a specific animation with a stickman whose behaviour and figure will reflect the feeling the DJs will send to the people..
so if a relaxing event, the stickman will be on a hammock drinking a cocktail or in a Jacuzzi.. or something…
if there is energy involved, he will be dancing..
well, you get the idea.. and maybe there will be T-shirts made at the exit with the stickman..
this can be huge..

I can’t help

myself.. It is rare when someone can see an excellent Japanese violin player, with a Stradivarius violin, play Balada by Ciprian Porumbescu.. i managed to see it happen..
That performance is tattooed in my conscience.
Balada must be one of the most powerful classic songs ever written, if not the most powerful (for me it is).
I don’t know if you can imagine the level of respect that violin player showed by performing it with a Stradivarius. An over 300 year old violin, its sound being as clear as when it was made.
Few people understand the beauty in the harmony of notes, combined with the fluidity of the performer. Plus the performer was female, so to all this, add the Asian feminine beauty..

In the same time I can’t help myself from sharing my annoyance with the unwritten social law, stating that classical music must be associated with elegance and class. We aren’t going at a classical show to impress the other spectators, nor the performers. They already have the stage stress (more or less). this type of mentality has old roots, from when the nobles were ruling. well, fuck nobility. I want to feel the music, not to be distracted by the sensuality of a dress.. those are 2 different senses. The mix should stay on the stage, where the beauty of the instruments combines with the sounds’ purity.

I say, let’s all be more open-minded..
and for the performers, uniqueness should be introduced.. really.. I’m not comfortable with tradition.. (nobody should be) but I understand the fact the members of an orchestra wear basically the same thing just so that we’re not too distracted from the music.. but still, big artists could still design “orchestra clothes”.. anyway, we can see and listen at the same time, right?
Still, the social law thing remains.. people really should start being original..

really..

oh yeah.. news.. for those who care, (like spirits, gnomes and Santa) I found someone

I started

for some time to put my thoughts on tape.. bought a tape recorder (yes, I know, tape = lame, but I find it more reliable than digital recording + I love the ‘tape” effect on sounds ) and I have to say it freaks me out..
every time I listen to myself I tend to analyse my words, my intonation, my mistakes.. apparently I find more calm and balance in writing..
but I also find that recording myself is a good therapy regarding my stage fright.. I had to refuse the participation in a Lip Dub (a freaking lip dub!!) because I cannot control myself in front of a camera.. every time I am under attention I tend to imagine what people might think about me.. I start imagining the that’s why expressing myself through music and words is better.. (written works are not as spontaneous as spoken ones, thus I have more time to arrange ideas)

I wonder if I am beginning to get lost in the world or if the society managed to influence me enough.. I am actually having plans involving major social interactions.. parties and such.. but i am terrified because major social interactions involve the consumer society, my no. 1 enemy; should I join you by putting my mask on? appearing something you want me to be?
or should hope that the artistic spirits will soon find me, thus continuing mixing my in my own style and not giving a crap about commercial music?
of course.. I will not be reduced to pure image.. I will keep my human integrity..
[or is this feeling called growing up? because I hate its transition phase.. (why isn't everything quantized?? =_= ) ]
because I’m not christian, muslim, jewish, black, latino, gay, romanian or other defining terms.. I’m human like the rest of you..
all the philosophy about the origins of people included in the religious works are just art and should only be regarded as such, not followed in real life.. all that is different from one to another is the genetic code.. there are over 70.000.000.000.000 different combinations of the genetic code.. science discovered that.. fuck you, extremists!

look at the stars.. they tend to tell interesting stories (especially the Orion’s Belt constellation -> 3 in-line stars in the sky.. beautiful in its simplicity..)
and another lesson: always smile. because life likes taking pictures.. (this one has a subliminal message.. )

random words are flying in my head.. it’s been a long time since Order visited my brain.. i feel like the artificial intelligence in the Stealth movie..

the truth is I need someone in my life with which I can share some love.. it kinda sucks being alone.. but I can’t juggle that as well right now..
(yes, for the moment this is helping me a lot more than trying to hook up with a girl at a bar, so keep your tips to yourself)

[ok, I am losing my touch, but I blame that on the fact that a big exam is closing in.. ]

frate, Livio, Roby si George G. au cam ratat releasul Part III.. din pct meu de vedere.. parca zici ca e muzica literalmente pt drogatii de muzica, le-au dat ceva doar asa ca sa fie.. celelalte releasuri au fost mai bune.. in special primul
le asteptam si pe celelalte

Time

dilation made it so that this post arrived now.. it’s been planned in my head for a long time, and given that (due to recent analysis I’ve realized that) I have a 4-dimensional psychological profile, the appearance of this post was just a matter of time.

human nature hasn’t changed much, so that’s one irrelevant subject of reflection, but “human relations” isn’t.
recently I’ve started some discussions with a person I’ve been admiring for a long time. my lack of courage to talk to her made me only imagine what could be in her mind. now I know.. not only that, but her feelings are becoming clear as well.. it is a very interesting opportunity to expand my soul’s knowledge by gathering some of hers.

and I’m starting to develop feelings for someone. she doesn’t know it yet, but she feels it..

if anyone is asking, yes, I like to talk about people I find interesting and I find it important that the type of people I like should receive more credit for their persona (or anima for psychology freaks). but what’s underneath matters most.
I can’t wait for the time to pass faster.

other news.. school sucks.. music rocks.. can’t wait for summer to come.. too tired to write a more serious post, even though I have some incredible thoughts under preservation (which could also be read as: “I have to write them fast or I will forget them”)

recently a song I’ve been waiting for about 2 years to be made public was released. I got it this weekend and I am incredibly happy! and will be every time I play it.

oh, and greetings to the paternal and maternal parts of my genetic heritage!

Red Moon – last words that came in my mind before finishing this post.. means something.. will be developed later I guess..

nu este pentru voi, ci pentru mine

am o problema. recunosc. dar e psihologica.. nu am destula vointa sa o rezolv.. dar am destula constiinta sa imi dau seama ca nu stiu ce e o familie.. poate pentru ca dandu-mi seama ca o copilarie include o gramada de minciuni (iepurele de paste, mos craciun, tot felul de povesti care ne speriau pentru a nu mai face x sau y..) am incput sa urasc orice aluzie la copilarie.. si urasc tot ce tine de o copilarie.. adica neg orice valoare a celor “7 ani de acasa” (copii sunt formati dupa un anumit cod social si/sau cultural, ca niste roboti) pana la 16 ani, sa zicem.. cam de atunci imi aduc aminte de inceputurile meditatiilor mele anti umane.. implicit orice participant familial pana la acea varsta este atins de gandurile negative ale unei fiinte care se straduia sa nu isi arate adevarata natura.. sa spunem ca autodidactia (?) mea de la o varsta frageda a intrat in conflict cu inconstienta infantila.. astfel au ramas “sechele” permanente..
nu mi-a placut niciodata sa stau in familie..
aceasta problema este foarte activa momentan.. orice efort a persoanelor care m-au crescut trece nevazut de mine din cauza ei (a problemei).

nu pot participa in societate.. o urasc.. orice om care nu e destul de constient sa se gandasca putin la religie, la minciunile sociale si la imaginea sociala – careia multi ii dau o foarte mare importanta -, in subconstientul meu, nu merita respect.
dupa cum decurge situatia momentan, imi dau seama ca toate actiunile mele in singuratate sunt sub conducerea subconstientului meu.. dar acest subconstient ma ajuta sa ma gandesc la tot ce ma inconjoara.. gasesc o gramada de mesaje, imagini, reprezentari muzicale la orice vad/citesc, inteleg frumusetea in orice..
dar cum devin constient, orice astfel de gandire dispare si devin un om; rezultatul cresterii mele iese la iveala; intru in normele bunului simt si a respectului. nu imi place.. pentru ca sunt foarte limitat, de aceea astfel de perioade de constienta sunt foarte scurte..
natura mea este fara reguli, ca un Mad Max singuratic intr-un univers cu infinite posibilitati de analiza si intelegere, asocieri, reprezentari.. dar cu un mare cost. si platesc foarte scump.. singuratatea m-a facut asa.
de fiecare data cand ajungeam la ideile de sinucidere deveneam constient, ma gandeam la persoanele care ma iubesc.. dar trecea, si apoi ma gandeam la iubire si la foarte multe concepte derivate din aceasta samanta..
deci, generalizand cu nesimtire, avem de ales.. ori oamenii raman constienti de ce ii inconjoara si actioneaza cum trebuie dupa un anumit cod social, ori intra fiecare in universul lor, pun in comun ideile si scot ceva care poate lasa fara aer pana si un peste..
nu stiu cum mi-am putut permite sa scriu aceste cuvinte, dar stiu ca ma reprezinta destul de mult.. lipsesc parti, dar acum nu mai conteaza..
ar trebui sa imi arat natura mai des.. asa poate va dori cineva sa ma faca sa dispar mai repede si sa aflu naiba ce e dupa moarte.. ca un autor roman care avea aceeasi intentie si totusi a murit de batranete..

acesta a fost rezultatul spargerii limitei dintre cele doua instante din mine.. am mai avut astfel de “crize”, dar erau doar o parte din notele din simfonie.. aici ar fi sonata..

I’m

the guy (who will soon start) leaving random notes everywhere he goes in Montreal; they will be signed ” φlip “